Although history shows that it is not at all strange that it will snow in April, our expectation and our hope is different.
Picture this: We have a few days off and enjoy the prospect of all the fun out door things we can do during the sunny Easter weekend. In reality, sun, hail, wind and rain alternated at a rapid pace. It was very disappointing and it demanded adaptability on our part to deal with these changing circumstances that where completely out of our span of control.
This weekend was in miniature how life goes. Sometimes it snows in April and things happen that you somehow don’t expect nor predict to happen to you.
Whether it be loss of matter, family, belongings, money, friendship, relationship, marriage, health, work, income and ultimately the loss of your own life or that of someone very important to you. Nobody escapes loss in life. How you deal with this determines whether the loss becomes a trauma or whether it helps you to develop further as a person.
For me personally I had to deal with loss of health, work, income, sickness and multiple deaths of people I loved in a very short period of time. I didn’t take or had the time to mourn. I put on my happy face, moved on and didn’t face what had happened. This -in combination with other life changing events- eventually took its toll. I was burned out. I had to face and accept that I could no longer live my life at the pace or as in control as I was used to.
I had to face and accept that I could no longer live my life at the pace or as in control as I was used to.
I learned the hard way that if I don’t really close a door, before opening the next, it’s going to draft. And sitting on the draft for a long time gave me a stiff neck and prevented me from internalizing everything that was happening and accepting what was, instead of longing for what wasn’t.
As for last weekend: Instead of the planned long walk in the dunes, we painted Easter eggs, baked cupcakes, built a tent in the living room, sowed carrots and rolled down a hill in the woods. Oh and the boys rode a horse on daddy’s back :-).
My biggest lesson is, that when I take the time to really stand still, to really cope with and face what is and what scares me the most, it turns into my place to blossom and the sun will shine eventually. Even though it sometimes snows in April…